Thursday 22 December 2016

Worry

A poem from 2016

Watch me perform it on YouTube...



Worry - yes, I know you well
You imagine the worst
The tyre that bursts
The pipe that floods
The day that breaks
Catastrophe spilt everywhere
Splat!
What a mess!
Who will clear that up?
Not you, you're sweating too profusely
And your hands are shaking
And you're procrastinating
Making this imaginary disaster worse
Tick tock tick tock tick tock
That's your heart beating
What if it stops?
Can you do first aid?
Give yourself the kiss of life?
Who will look after the wife?
Tick…. Tick…. Tick….
Mwa-ha-ha!
T-t-t-to-CK!
Teasing
Playing with you

It's ok to take the bull by the horns
It's ok to make a decision
It's ok to realise that worry is not real
It's ok to be sane
It's ok for things to work out fine
It's ok to live without a fuss
It's ok to live!

Sunday 18 December 2016

Depression Unfinished

A poem from 2016
I am calm now

I get easily irritated and don't know what to talk to her about
Dwelling on negative thoughts
Insular
I inhabit the world of my own mind
It's easier there
I can control what goes on - not

Will this constant tiredness never stop!
Sadness, gloom, misery, dismay!
I exposed myself
To minus thoughts, to annoyance
The fragile peace shattered
Into splintery pieces which do not shine

I have an innately unpositive view of myself
Nothing's going to change
But I'm more relaxed at the moment


Friday 16 December 2016

A Kiss In The Dark

A poem from 1985

oh, for a kiss in the dark, my friend
how I hope it won’t end
in tears
and all my fears
will be realised
as I stare into your deep brown eyes
and wonder why
a wretch like me
could fall in love with such beauty

Wednesday 14 December 2016

Peacemaker

A poem from 2016

We scream!
It's my right!
We scream!
It's not fair!
Like little children in the playground

A man
Innocent
Of all charges
Imprisonment on false evidence
A show trial
Arguably no trial
Rejected
Abused
Beaten
Whipped
Scourged
Bloodied
Torn apart
Nailed
Hung out to dry

Father, forgive them
They don't know what they're doing

Peacemaker
The peace the world cannot give


Sunday 11 December 2016

Fire

A poem from 2016


I turned and looked away from the fire
You sat and stared transfixed
Who was the wiser?
I'm still not sure



Friday 9 December 2016

Shell

A poem from 1989
empty
 alone
 on the beach -
      a shell
      a relic of life

I eat sand
  and throw it up
  upon the beach -
            if
            you bring me a shell
            I will climb inside
            and hide
            as I can’t show
            my true feelings
            either

Wednesday 7 December 2016

Monotone

A poem from 2016


I know
I know how you don't feel
I know
I know the heart is dead
I know
The far stare when you talk
Eyes wide blank
I know
I know that soft drone
Words buzz
Words merge
No breaks
No full stop
No life it seems
I know
And it is such a shame
We live in a damp mist
Light rain is there
At all times
Our breath - a trudge
By paths we know so well
But no sign to show the way out

And yet!
There is golden sunshine
There is exquisite, aching hope
When we expect the least
In ways we cannot yet fathom
We can leave Denial
And the other dreaded Ds
With help
There is life more abundant

I now know the exit sign
It was covered by slimy moss
I now know how to breathe
Fresh sub-celestial air
I now know the promised rainbow
We don't have to drown in the drizzle
We can walk tall
We can walk!
Life punctuated by upright excitement
By curly questions
By smiley faces on the side
By naughty winks
Words undulate
Separate
Sparkle
Become clear
Hearable
Listenable
A tale of goodness
Wholesome
Whole
Holy
Lively eyes
Lightness in spirit
Feel!

Sunday 4 December 2016

Four Weddings and a Funeral

A poem from 2016

Bill’s wife (first wife)
Darling all his adult life
Died two years ago
Felt this had come too soon
In a haze
All days
Eventually
He
Started socialising
(His children had to force him)
His local community centre
Afternoon tea dancing
He had no taste for it
But did it
Danced a bit
Met Elsie
Spinster of this parish
The light came back into his eyes
He hasn’t forgotten his first love
Imagines she’s smiling from above
To see him smile again

Barely 19
Flush of youth
Callum and Leigh
Can’t take their eyes off each other
Can’t afford much
Student life
Man and wife
That’s a novelty
Bedsit’s a bit of a hovel
They don’t care
As long as they share it
Nothing else matters
Callum works in a bar to get a bit of spare cash
And every waking moment he thinks of Leigh
And she?
Studying to be a barrister

This is Ted’s fourth and Maggie’s second
Ted has eight kids (that he knows of *nudge, wink*)
Scattered amongst sundry mothers
The child support payments are killing him
But he doesn’t learn
He can’t resist
Serial monogamy
Two, three years and off he goes
More vows
He knows them backwards now
He’s happy-go-unlucky in love
He says
And life doesn’t seem to touch him
Fragmented, modern family
He’s ok
Doesn’t see the tears
And the cries: “where’s daddy gone?”
And the doomed inevitability
His kids will do the same

Well, John and Sue!
What a right pair!
Made for each other!
Rumours aplenty
Who haven’t they slept with?
That bridesmaid looked jealous as hell
You’d feel sorry for Sue
But she was at it too
While they were engaged
If the rumours are true
Can’t see leopards changing their spots
‘Nuff said about them
I give it six months

Alone
Six feet under
No wedding bells down here
Unusually I went first
It’s normally the man
Life expectancy and all that
But it was cancer
And too advanced
Bill stood by me
Held my hand in the hospital
Nothing more he could have done
My love
My only true love



Friday 2 December 2016

A Town In Darkness

A poem from 1989

behind those walls ...
                                                are people sleeping

behind those walls...
                                                are people watching tv

behind those walls...
                                                are people making love

behind those walls...
                                                are people -
                                                arguing and fighting

behind those walls...
are people watching and praying?