Welcome To Ed's Funeral

A poem from 2016

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Irrationally loved

Chemical illusion

Cremated in the bathroom

Matches and petrol

Fire alarm dismantled

“It's what he would have wanted”

You are the wind beneath my wings

Welcome to Ed’s funeral

Ultimately meaningless existence

He lives on in your hearts

Infantile sentimentality

We wash his ashes down the plughole

“It's what he would have wanted”

In all his glory

Born a fish

Regressed to stealing chocolate from the corner shop

Smoked cigarettes when he was 14

Encouraged by his dad

Career criminal

In and out of jail, mostly for burglary

His four children to three mothers

Hardly knew of his existence

Hardened alcoholic

Foul mouthed fighter

Knuckle duster

Fly fly fly high against the sky

Stardust animal

Bacterial stain

Amino rancid

Wayward platelet

Gangrenous image

Requiem aeternam

Kyrie eleison

Dies irae

“That day is one of weeping,
on which shall rise again from the ashes
the guilty man, to be judged.
Therefore spare this one, O God,
merciful Lord Jesus:
Give them rest. Amen.”

Four Weddings and a Funeral

A poem from 2016

Bill’s wife (first wife)

Darling all his adult life

Died two years ago

Felt this had come too soon

In a haze

All days

Eventually

He

Started socialising

(His children had to force him)

His local community centre

Afternoon tea dancing

He had no taste for it

But did it

Danced a bit

Met Elsie

Spinster of this parish

The light came back into his eyes

He hasn’t forgotten his first love

Imagines she’s smiling from above

To see him smile again

Barely 19

Flush of youth

Callum and Leigh

Can’t take their eyes off each other

Can’t afford much

Student life

Man and wife

That’s a novelty

Bedsit’s a bit of a hovel

They don’t care

As long as they share it

Nothing else matters

Callum works in a bar to get a bit of spare cash

And every waking moment he thinks of Leigh

And she?

Studying to be a barrister

This is Ted’s fourth and Maggie’s second

Ted has eight kids (that he knows of *nudge, wink*)

Scattered amongst sundry mothers

The child support payments are killing him

But he doesn’t learn

He can’t resist

Serial monogamy

Two, three years and off he goes

More vows

He knows them backwards now

He’s happy-go-unlucky in love

He says

And life doesn’t seem to touch him

Fragmented, modern family

He’s ok

Doesn’t see the tears

And the cries: “where’s daddy gone?”

And the doomed inevitability

His kids will do the same

Well, John and Sue!

What a right pair!

Made for each other!

Rumours aplenty

Who haven’t they slept with?

That bridesmaid looked jealous as hell

You’d feel sorry for Sue

But she was at it too

While they were engaged

If the rumours are true

Can’t see leopards changing their spots

‘Nuff said about them

I give it six months

Alone

Six feet under

No wedding bells down here

Unusually I went first

It’s normally the man

Life expectancy and all that

But it was cancer

And too advanced

Bill stood by me

Held my hand in the hospital

Nothing more he could have done

My love

My only true love