Scrap

A poem from 2020

I’m just a tiny piece of rubbish

Left lying in the street

Nobody ever sees me

I’m the dirt beneath their feet

I’m just a tiny piece of rubbish

Left over from a fight

Homeless, helpless, speechless

Unloved both day and night

I’m just a tiny piece of rubbish

No use to fellow man

Ascribing me no value

Denying me a clan

If you see me, please take pity

I just want to be loved

It’s not a lot to ask for
Is it?

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/photos/bubble-gum-shoes-glue-dirt-438404/

The Disappearing Man

A poem from 2018

Lonely man
Dissipates into the air
No one is around
No one to care

He'd like to return

But he doesn't dare

The combustible pain

Sets light to fear

Relationships

A poem from 1996

We are the same,

but different expressions of pain.

One receives

and is hurt;

one does not receive

and is hurt.

There is no salvation in receiving.

There is no virtue in not receiving.

They are the same,

and we are different expressions of pain.

Fear makes me inactive,

robs my motivation.

You too?

Lonely Hearts

A poem from 2017

She smiled at me and called me darling!

Is the checkout girl in love with me?

Mooch

A poem from 2017

I'm bored

I'm lonely

No one

No only

It's 1995 and there's no Internet

It hasn't been invented yet

It's Christmas and I'm living abroad

I didn't want to go home this year

Five days off work with nothing to do

I can't even call on friends

It's freezing outside and I'm not going walking alone

So I stay indoors the whole time

Only two TV stations

I'm so numb, wandering from room to room for a change of scene

It's oh so quiet and I'm in internal agony

The hurt makes me fall to the floor in self pity

Tears not flowing because that's not how I roll

Lying there, feeling sorry for myself

Clenching and unclenching fists

The pain burns within

How much more of this can I take?

I want to scream but who would hear?

Is this how it will always be?

Walking aimlessly through life alone?

Bitter, so bitter

This isn't fair

This really isn't fair

This really is fear

The fear is real

Soon I'll be back at work

And what then?

Just Like Kevin

A poem from 1993

Listen to an audio performance...

Home alone

silence is deafening

enjoy it while it lasts

Home alone

silence is frightening

it might last forever

Never the joy

of a good-night kiss

or a kiss

of any description

I

masochist

I

shattered

but on the mend

changing

yet the same

Time passes

I grow older

the poems remain the same

the bed is never shared

the silence is killing me

Inside

A poem from 1992

There is a nuclear reactor

bound to explode

inside me

unless

it is closed

down

It hurts like hell

inside me

it is breaking down -

That old powerhouse

inside me

I’m not stupid

I’m not a rebel

There is no punk

inside me

There is junk

there is a great

broken wall

a city

safeguarded by the rubble

of vulnerability

inside me

Tumbling down

to the ground

love is not found

a suitable expression

from inside me

There is no voice

to express

to pour out

the thoughts

that pile up

inside me

No ears to hear

No hands to bear the burden

Just a heart to tear away

the final boundaries

of false hope

There is a yearning for daylight

inside me.