I Am Baby Bear

A poem from 2016

Daddy Bear drives at 60 in a fifty zone

Mummy Bear drives at 40

I am Baby Bear, staying as close to the limit as traffic conditions allow

Daddy Bear gets blind drunk most nights

Mummy Bear doesn't touch a drop

I am Baby Bear, enjoying the odd tipple in moderation

Daddy Bear loves white water rafting

Mummy Bear stays at home

I am Baby Bear, never doing anything dangerous but I'll watch it on the telly

I am Baby Bear

I never do good things

I never do bad things

But I have a secret Daddy Bear and Mummy Bear know nothing about

I am Baby Bear

I am Goldilocks

That's my alter ego

My guilty pleasure

I like to dress in girl's clothes sometimes

I wear a golden, curly wig

I suck on lollipops

You can call me Shirley if you want

You can come and play with me if you want

I play tricks on Daddy Bear and Mummy Bear

Eat their porridge

Sit on their chairs

Sleep in their beds

Once I almost got caught

I had to go into the forest

Drug and kidnap a little girl

I liked the way she smelled

And she felt so soft

I put her in my bed and played my tricks

I timed it so she'd be coming round when we discovered her, the culprit

*Malevolent grin*

Mybad!