Finished

 A 2020 poem

I am sad

Mourning for a lost world

It is finished

I am sad 

Not for myself

I’m flying out of here on a cloud

I am sad

How much longer 

Humanity never changes

And yet

The actions of a minority

Destroy the bigger picture

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/photos/adult-beard-face-fashion-guy-man-1845814/

Holding On

 A 2020 poem

Holding on

With a vice-like grip

To every last shred of human dignity

As it departs

Piece by piece

The forgetfulness

The vomit she sits in

The yellow stain of wet appearing

Ringing the bell

Falls asleep

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/photos/dependent-dementia-woman-old-age-63611/

The Planets 5 - Saturn, The Bringer of Old Age

A poem from 2019

Time creeps on so slowly that you don’t really notice it

Unrelenting, the seconds tick by but you don’t always hear them

Sinister, how you look back and notice how much you’ve slowed down

Crawling, age becomes what it was never intended to be

Death screams in your face, on repeat

Meekly you shrink back

Bells sound, a kind of welcoming home

Still moments of joy peek through

Glass Half Empty

A poem from 2018

You win some

You lose some

But mostly you lose some

It Means Nothing

A poem from 1985

I am the leper in the magazine

I want your money

I am the starving child in Africa

I want your food

you see me laying with tears in my eyes

and flies in my eyes

but oh, it means nothing to you

I’m lying ill in a hospital

it’s a fatal disease that they can only cure in America

so please, please, please won’t you send me there

please save my life to show the world that you really care

but oh, it means nothing to you

show me to your room and

lay me down and

pump me full of human compassion

I’m lying ill in my bed

it’s a fatal disease that can only be cured in your arms

so please, please, please can I come there

please save my mind to show the world that you really care

but oh, it means nothing to you

so I lay on my own

and I curse and I moan

but it means nothing to you

please spare me your tears

‘cos I mean nothing to you

Cellulite

A poem from 2018

A beauty lost

A downward trend

No way back

Don’t forget me

Don’t abandon me

I am the same person

Midlife crisis

The eye wanders

Younger flesh

I’m still your darling

I love you

Adore me

Remember vows

I am not sick

We are not dead

Always The Bridesmaid

A poem from 2017

She smiles

She's had enough practice

Hiding the seething volcanic anger within her

Over and over

Always the same

The pain

The hurt

The fear

“Why is it never me?”

She can never say no

Hopes to catch the bouquet

Deep within she quivers

What's wrong with me?

Am I that ugly?

Do I smell?

Am I a horrible person?

She wants to cry

She wants to punch that grin off the face of the next person who says, “It'll be your turn next”

But she'll keep up the show as she resists the urge to run

Her social circle dwindles as each friend says “I do”

And despite all her efforts

Her left eye twitches ever so slightly

Wobble

A poem from 2017

She sits on the floor

Back to the wall

Empty

Tears stain her eyes

Chocolate stains her lips

Blank

How long has it been?

Yet still this keeps on happening

She takes deep breaths

The world will not wait

Counting

Force that smile

Put on that brave face

Determined

Love

A poem from 1993

I threw the dice

two sixes

again!

Long years

of false hope -

systematically destroyed

No United Nations

No plan

for military intervention

Shoot

I shoot

                myself

in the foot

But another cease-fire breaks down

Scab

A poem from 2017

Forty years ago my husband left me

It didn't happen out of the blue

I thought I was marrying a devout man

A faithful man

He talked the talk

But true colours will come out in the wash

Twenty three affairs he had

That I know of

When I went out to church

He was at it

When I went out to work

He was at it

My cousin

My best friend

My boss

Some randoms

Most of the time he didn't leave but when he did

I always had him back

Dependable me

Manipulatable me

But one time he didn't come back

I was defeated

This was the end

This was with another best friend

I didn't eat for days

At the fireplace I'd just gaze

Empty

Yet sick in my stomach

We divorced

And he denied his affairs

He wouldn't accept he was at fault

And I cannot forget

I threw myself into work

And charity

And helping others

And the pain would not go away

And every chance I get

I tell people the whole story

Even if I've told them a dozen times before

I can talk about it for an hour or more

Without pausing

I want to be loved

I want acceptance

I want to remain a victim

I want to cry

I want to be a strong woman

I want to be admired for my fortitude

I pick the scab

It cannot heal

I get comfort from knowing it wasn't me

The comfort hurts so much

So so much