Good news! There is no God.
Good news! There is no hope.
Good news! Your life has no purpose.
Good news! There is neither good nor evil.
Good news! The universe is indifferent to you.
Good news! Hide that knife.
Good news! Call the Samaritans.
Good news! You don’t matter.
Good news! Okay, just go ahead and kill yourself.
Good news! No one cares.
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