Local Newspaper Photographer

A poem from 1986

what did you do

to warrant a place in the news

you raised a cheque for ninety p

and sent it to a charity

and the local newspaper photographer

wants a picture so all can see

the smiling face with gormless grin

the flashy pose

and “look how wonderful I am” badge you wear

upon your swelled up chest

you won a competition

so you’re showing off your prize

with a sickly-innocent smile on your face

while pride lives in your eyes

and the local newspaper photographer

wants a picture so all can see

and give you something to show off about

while sharing evening coffee

this is a song for cynics

but one thing that I must say

as I notice our MP and mayor

appear

5 or 6 times a week

to seek

a friendly air with the electorate

I don’t believe that everyone

wants their picture shown for pride

but when the local newspaper photographer comes

I’m sure it’s hard to hide